My Confession
15'th February 2005. Well, that's a date I wont forget for the rest of my life I guess. I made a confession. Can't you believe it? Neither can I. I never thought confess my feeling to him. At least not when I'm still in love with him. Let's just say that I know something about "someone". And that "something" make me think.....Life is just too short not tell someone about your true feeling. Besides it never hurt telling (or showing) someone how much you love them.
The answer?? Just as I suspected...he never know that I love him (In fact, he never know that I love him 'til now, he just knew that I like him. That's a lot kind of different). Kinda funny seeing him speechless handling my confession. Haha. Had I'm not too overwhelmed with my own feeling, I'll laugh out loud. You don't have to imagine it, just leave the details to me. I love the way he react to my confession. It didn't change our friendship (I think). I still got him as my friend (if 'best friend' is too much). And I know I never felt this comfortable with someone before. He already knows and understand me, not to mention that he's the one who can handle me. My behaviour, my secrets, my problems, even my feelings to him. I think he handles me pretty well.
It's been a month and a half since my confession, and I fall in love deeper each day. In the new kind of love. He draw me close to God (I know he didn't intend to do that). Because everytime I started to get worried about him, I just prayed to God. And it changed my relationship with God, and with him. Right now all I want is the best for him. On the contrary, what I really don't want is to make him hurt. Even the thought of going out with him -almost- never crossed my mind because I know he will got into so much trouble if we went out together. He had to pick me up and bring me back home, etc, etc. And I really happy for him if he found someone else to love to. I really do. I don't think that I'm just a stupid person anymore. It really need a great heart to love someone and not to expect something in return.
I just hope he sees me as his bestfriend; as someone he could talk to; as someone he could share his problems with; as someone he could turn to; and as someone he could trust. Right now all I can do is to offer him my unconditional love. He doesn't have to change because I love him just the way he is. I sense that he need more of this kind of love in his life. He need a lot of friends that offer him sincere kind of friendship. Oh, and I guess I have to break my promise not to write about him again. Hahah. Well, who knows things will turn up like this.
The answer?? Just as I suspected...he never know that I love him (In fact, he never know that I love him 'til now, he just knew that I like him. That's a lot kind of different). Kinda funny seeing him speechless handling my confession. Haha. Had I'm not too overwhelmed with my own feeling, I'll laugh out loud. You don't have to imagine it, just leave the details to me. I love the way he react to my confession. It didn't change our friendship (I think). I still got him as my friend (if 'best friend' is too much). And I know I never felt this comfortable with someone before. He already knows and understand me, not to mention that he's the one who can handle me. My behaviour, my secrets, my problems, even my feelings to him. I think he handles me pretty well.
It's been a month and a half since my confession, and I fall in love deeper each day. In the new kind of love. He draw me close to God (I know he didn't intend to do that). Because everytime I started to get worried about him, I just prayed to God. And it changed my relationship with God, and with him. Right now all I want is the best for him. On the contrary, what I really don't want is to make him hurt. Even the thought of going out with him -almost- never crossed my mind because I know he will got into so much trouble if we went out together. He had to pick me up and bring me back home, etc, etc. And I really happy for him if he found someone else to love to. I really do. I don't think that I'm just a stupid person anymore. It really need a great heart to love someone and not to expect something in return.
I just hope he sees me as his bestfriend; as someone he could talk to; as someone he could share his problems with; as someone he could turn to; and as someone he could trust. Right now all I can do is to offer him my unconditional love. He doesn't have to change because I love him just the way he is. I sense that he need more of this kind of love in his life. He need a lot of friends that offer him sincere kind of friendship. Oh, and I guess I have to break my promise not to write about him again. Hahah. Well, who knows things will turn up like this.
posted by Yellow_angel1 at 1:26 PM
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